kHate at First Sight

Not quite, but I didn’t like her from day one. She slowly got worse and worse. From the minute we learned SHE was the one in the Marshall’s custody, I knew she was bad news. A Federal Marshall. This wasn’t cotton candy crimes, this was the big-time. Terrorism, murder, major Drug infractions were among the first thoughts. Flashing her smiles and flirting with the doc on the first day, didn’t help her case. I have to admit, it gave me a “black widow” feeling about her, but was pleased to find out she’d *only* killed one person, because, you know, that’s not sooo bad.

I barely noticed the back and forth between the boys at first. I guess I was too busy drooling over Sawyer, but I digress. What I did notice was her defiant behavior. I like to think of myself as an independent thinking woman, but if after being told by our ‘leader’ several times not to come along, or go along, and defying him with dangerous consequences, at some point, I’d begin to question my own judgment. Did Jack have a right to tell Kate what she could and could not do? No. But, in hindsight, he tended to be right when he suggested she shouldn’t come, situations always arose that would have been better off had she not been there.

The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back for me was the meeting with “Zeke” in the jungle when she followed Jack after being told not to come, and whoops, she got caught, which totally cost them what upper hand they *might* have had if she’d just trusted someone else for a change and stayed behind. I recognized this event as another display of her defiance. She didn’t follow the guys out of honest concern for Michael, she did it specifically because she was told not to. I’ve known a few “Kates” in my lifetime, and that’s pretty much their MO-they do things not for an altruistic motive, but just because they can, or more often, because they’re told not to.

Which brings me to the fact that Kate is one of the most immature adults I’ve had the displeasure of getting to know on a weekly basis. Not only is she more defiant than my three-year-old, she’s just as indecisive. My daughter routinely goes through two to three cups in a day because she wants milk, then she wants lemonade, but before that’s empty she wants coffee (we give her hot cocoa, but she thinks its coffee just like in mommy’s mug). But those cups don’t have feelings-when they get tossed into the sink, dirty and used, they don’t care. They’ll be washed and reused and that’s enough for them. The same is not true for Sawyer and Jack, and even Kevin (gotta give Nathan his shout out). If she’d finally choose between the milk (Sawyer, because he does a body good), the lemonade (Jack, because depending on his mood you may get sweet or sour from him), and the coffee (Kevin…cop…coffee…better analogy? He’s bound to be bitter after being drugged and left like that), the guys could be metaphorically washed clean and find someone else to use and appreciate them. But she’s gotta have it all and doesn’t have a clue how to make up her mind. Make a list of pros and cons, trust your heart, ask your friends’ advice, play eeny meeny miney moe for crying out loud, just friggen pick!

The decision seemed to have finally been made at the cages. But alas, TPTB were just messing with us. We totally should have expected it, but it wasn’t the first time they’d fooled us, so shame on us. After two more seasons of the yo-yo game, we finally get a sigh of relief when James, the adult that he is, makes the sacrifice, and therefore the long awaited decision as well, for her. I hoped that loss of the best thing that had ever happened to her would finally be her wake up call. That he could sacrifice the chance to escape the island, the chance to live happily ever after with her, and for all he knew at the time, possibly his life, just to save her and his other friends, should have been a wakeup call. It could have been. She could have even grown to love Jack and live happily as a mature adult.

But what did she do? She kidnapped a child! She did not rescue him from a possible orphanage. He had a family who was grieving over the loss of his mother, who would have welcomed him with open loving arms. But she used him, as she’s used so many other men in her lifetime, this time not for security or status, money or sex, but as a substitute for the one man who truly loved her, who would have loved her unconditionally had she just accepted it from him.

But she failed to learn one great lesson from her childishly lived life, from the words of the genie “no substitutions, extensions, or refunds.” You can’t substitute a child for a missing lover, nor can you “go baaaack” and extend your time with him (he’s moved on!), nor can you refund your memories, and forget the pain of loving and losing him. Had you chosen him from day one, or even decided on him sooner, things could have been different. Neither of you may have ever made it onto the chopper at all, or Jack could have made that noble sacrifice knowing he couldn’t have you (hahaha, yeah, ok, like THAT would have happened!), you never know. But now, selfish child, you never will know, if there is any justice in the world, because he found someone better. Even if he goes back to you, you will never measure up to a real woman, and he’ll never truly be satisfied by you.